Divorce Decree

A divorce decree legally ends a marriage. This allows the spouses to remarry and terminates certain marital rights like inheritance rights. The spouses must be living in separate buildings for one year before either can file for divorce.

Criteria

Separation: For at least one year and one day the spouses have been living in separate buildings
Jurisdiction: At least one spouse has been living in North Carolina for at least six months
Financial Claims: Any equitable distribution or alimony claims must be filed before the divorce decree is signed or they are forever waived.

Steps

Divorce Filings

The first step is to file a stack of documents with the court that start a lawsuit for divorce. Every divorce is technically a lawsuit, even if both spouses agree and are cooperative. These documents include:

A cover sheet that identifies what you're filing
A "Complaint" that explains what you're suing for and why
A "Verification" where you promise everything in the Complaint is true
A "Summons" that notifies your ex they are being sued
An "SCRA" affidavit and report, that prove your ex is not serving the country in the military abroad while you're sugin them
An Indigency Petition and Affidavit, if you are asking the court to waive it's filing fees.

Service of Process

In the movies, one spouse is begging the other to consent to "sign the papers," because they can't get divorced without their spouse's permission. This is not how it works. You do not need your ex's consent to get divorced. However, you do need to make sure they are notified of the legal proceedings against them. This is called service of process.

There are three common ways to serve your ex:

By Waiver: If your ex is cooperating, they can sign an "Acceptance of Service" acknowledging they've received the documents and a "Waiver and Answer" waiving their right to contest the divorce.
Certified Mail: If your ex is not that cooperative, but more passive, all they need to do is sign for the paperwork upon delivery by USPS certified mail to be served.
Sheriff: If your ex is not cooperating at all, service by sheriff is the more hostile approach. This is where you pay a fee to the sheriff's office to have a police officer hand the documents to your ex.

Once your ex is served, unless they signed the Waiver and Answer, you have to give them 30 day window to contest the divorce before moving onto the next step. In some instances, the other party may request an extension for another 30 days.

Motion for divorce

This is where many DIY divorce websites fall short, because they aren't programmed for individual counties. Many courthouses have forms, processes, or rules that are specific to that individual courthouse. For example, the Durham county courthouse does not do divorces by clerk, whereas Wake county requires a special form to schedule a hearing before a judge when needed.

There are two ways to get a divorce decree:

By Clerk: If it is a simple, uncontested divorce with no open financial or custody claims, you can get a clerk to sign a divorce without a hearing.
By Judge: Otherwise, you have to schedule a hearing before a judge. These hearings are usually only a minute or two. You just explain you've been separated for a year, your ex was served, and so on.

Trial

If your ex does contest the divorce by alleging you have not been separated for one year and one day, you need a trial instead. At a trial, you'll both provide testimony and other evidence to argue your respective positions regarding the date of separation. Then, the judge will decide at trial if you meet the criteria to qualify for a divorce decree.